It Was Actually A Wall

*Opens eyes COMPLETELY, closes them and points* 

"That's bread."

Wait, What?

"Whole Foods is mushy."

Can I Put This On My Resume?

"Don't do that, it kills things.

It's a leadership skill."

I Mean, It's Not Wrong

My Thoughts On Hide-And-Seek:

"If you play hide and seek with things, it's theft."